I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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