At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
