Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
