Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
