I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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