So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
