chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
