If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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