This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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