she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want her autograph on my taint
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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