Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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