I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
