He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
