It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
