So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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