:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
