great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
