I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
why is half of my head shaved?
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