Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
