i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I am morally bankrupt
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
