So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
