hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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