life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
