I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
