I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
soo... how was my night?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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