; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think im going to throw up on grandma
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Girls should come with a carfax report
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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