she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
