he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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