Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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