Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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