my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
