Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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