i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
