Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
