Plan B is the new Plan A
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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