You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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