North Korea, Best Korea!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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