On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
