I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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