the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
