Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
