i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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