You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
