Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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