I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you win again, gameday.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
