he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
