so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
