I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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