We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it glows. i had to have it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
