I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think your dad took our porno
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
